My life in New York on weekdays is much like anyone elses: the day-in, day-out drudgery of sleep, the N train, work, the N train and Law & Order reruns. Sure, I manage to get a little writing in there in the form of this inane blog, but for the most part my life looks like an episode of television that's been Tivo'd and played back many, many times.I don't wear a watch - it's more a personal philosophy than a fashion choice. Not wearing the watch makes me feel like I'm on perpetual vacation, even sitting in a department meeting with the other office drones when I am fully aware that I am indeed *not* on vacation. As such, I have over the years come to sense what time it is within about 10 minutes accuracy. One way has to do with my stomach alerting me every day at noon that it's time for lunch, no matter how late I might have eaten breakfast. Another way is how the sun comes through my galley kitchen window at certain times of the day. And yet another way has to do with the news channel NY1.
I wake up every morning with Pat Kiernan, the leprechaun host of the morning news. I love his droll way of announcing ridiculous news items. I adore the gentle banter between him and the rubinesque Roger Clark. I will never get rid of Time Warner Cable specifically for this reason: I can't live without my NY1. I would watch it all day if I could, no matter how repetitive it might be.
In addition to giving me all the news I need to start the day, this morning I discovered that NY1 gives me something else: a sense of what the hell time it is. I realized that I actually time my morning around the different segments. I must be up and out of the shower by Weather on the 1s. I have to be done blowdrying my hair by the bottom of the hour, so I can hear all the lead news items. I must finish with assorted primping by the Transit Report, so I can hear Debbie Duhane tell me whether today is an Alternate Side Parking day (no matter that I don't have a car). And if I don't leave the house by In The Papers, I'm going to be late for work.
When I get home, I usually can devote about a half hour to Lewis Dodley (who incidentally I think sounds exactly like Butthead, of "Beavis and" fame). When Inside City Hall starts, it's time to switch over to Law & Order.
What would I do without my NY1? Often, when I am legitimately on vacation I find myself at loose ends, asking passers by for the time. How should I know? I didn't see the Fortune Business Report this morning, I have no clue what time of day it should be! I may have to schedule my next trip to St. Lucia, since they have some weird satellite subscription that receives NY1. That way, I can enjoy my vacation and know what time to eat breakfast.
Sounds like a great idea for an ad campaign for NY1. You should pitch it to them - for a price of course.
ReplyDeleteOh, yeah - you've been gawkered.
came here via gawker. so relieved to find out there's another NY1 Groupie out there. i feel at odd's end if i haven't seen "In the Papers" and totally gypped when kristen shaughnessy is filling in for pat k.
ReplyDeletecould it be that they're sending virtual crack through our screens?
I'm that way with the Weather Channel.
ReplyDeleteglad i'm not the only one too. ever since stern went to satellite my morning consists of keirnan doing in the papers and my nights consist of inside city hall because i'm too lazy to change the channel from where i left it in the morning when i get home at night.
ReplyDeleteBut have you been ON NY1 before?
ReplyDeleteThat, my friends, marks a true junkie.
I love Pat Kiernan, too, but don't knock
ReplyDeleteKristen Shaughnessy. I'm not a fan of Roger Clark, however. His perpetual schlumpy shtick is unprofessional and dull.
hey, you should pitch this article to the observer or something. i loved it. can you just see the great graphics with a clock, and NY1 graphics and you rushing out the door, or out of the shower w/ a towel to hear your favorite segments. sounds like a great sunday nytimes piece. i know you have a blog and everything. but if these places pay any good any more, you're just making extra money, right? i'm just saying.
ReplyDeleteWatches are the most overrated item I can possibly think of. I haven't owned one since the third grade when my grandma bought me a micky mouse one...I lost it in a couple of months and decided I didn't need the extra arm weight anyway. Love that there's another adult that feels this way about them. (I once went to dinner at a guys apartment on park ave, he showed me his "watch collection" of which many cost more than my first car and I wanted to barf up the meal I had just eaten).
ReplyDeleteWhen away from NYC and our beloved NY1, I use my cell phone to visit ny1.com. Sure, you don't get Lewis Dodley's hilarious drone, or Roger Clark's obscure movie references (he once did a Wayne's World ref while reporting on Lincoln Center's swing dancing thing), but it does make you feel a little more at home.
ReplyDeleteAnd I will never forget Kristen Shaughnessy reporting on the morning of 9/11, covered in dust.
Oh, and watches are useless.
I love Pat Kiernan. When I broke up with my ex in 2003, he split custody: He god Kristin S. and I got Pat. Nothing against Kristin, but Pat is fucking awesome.
ReplyDeleteI have to leave home by the Fortune Business Report to make it on time.
Lasly, I've never been on NY1 but I used to babysit for their old Sunday anchor (Sharon D.) and so when she was on air, talking, I was sitting in the co-anchor chair RIGHT NEXT TO HER holding her baby. Cool....
I don't wear a watch either. It's like watching my life pass me by... on purpose.
ReplyDeleteAnd it's interesting the way those of us who are time piece-less find different and unusual ways of being able to know what time it is without even wearing a watch!
Lewis Dodley tried to pick me up at a club about 7 years ago. He was a regular at Poly Esther's (?????? and yeah I worked at Polly Ester's. Shut up, I had just moved to the city and I was a broke ass kid). I've been watching him off and on ever since, trying to perfect my mockery of his rediculous accent. You nailed it. He IS Beavis. Only more whacked out on vicodin sounding. Awesome.
ReplyDeleteLewis Dodley's speech impediment is both maddening and hypnotic. It threatens the approach of a seizure threshold as assuredly as a hot-pink strobe light - except eyes have eyelids that can involuntarily close, but ears are always open; offering no respite from the assault. Why don't I turn the channel immediately? NY1 is of no consequence in my life, living in Rochester, NY. Most of the news is only occasionally interesting to me because it's a great window to downstate, but I went ahead and entered it in as a "favorite channel". I ALWAYS keep clicking past it - except when Lewis Dodley is .... "delivering" .... the news.
ReplyDeleteWhy would his parents have NOT talked him out of a vocation that involves speaking? What were the program directors thinking when they hired him? Does he own the controlling shares of stock in NY1? He speaks way too fast, slurs his words, and sounds the MOST like what I would imagine someone would sound like if they really did have a mouth full of dookie.
Try talking, right now, without moving your jaw OR your lips, and say something really fast. You can move your tongue all you want. Doesn't it sound like him? Seriously, say, "Tonight, there was a 3-car pile-up, causing a 2-hour delay during rush hour." Did your cat or dog just look at you funny? That's what it's like for ME! I .... CAN'T .... STOP... WATCHING HIM!
he talkin his azz right to the bank !
ReplyDelete