I know kids tend to be denser than usual these days, but this email really takes the cake. For what it's worth, I don't think this was a joke.
(courtesy Big Yellow Hair)
--Forwarded Message Attachment--
Subject: Second City performance
Date: Thu, 8 Mar 2007 10:54:09 -0600
To: Second City
My name is [idiot high schooler] and I'm from [middle of a cornfield], Iowa. I attend [public high school] and I am a arts writer [no, that's not my typo] for our school newspaper, The Torch. This issue, which comes out on March 23, we are writing a story on Second City's performance at [community college, a.k.a. 13th Grade] on March 9. I have tickets to the performance and I will be writing the article. It would be great if I could get in contact with the performers, such as, John Belushi, Gilda Radner, and John Candy. If you could get back to me with contact information, that would be great.
Thank you, [I need to learn how to use Lexis Nexis, or at least talk to my parents more often]