So here I am! Married! Woo! Details to come. But first a word about the new flight safety rules recently signed by Obama.
Pres. Obama: I'll tell you how to fix the entire security problem, quickly and cheaply, and devoid of human error.
It's called dogs. Dogs at the airport. You take out the xray machines, the security chuppas, take out the standing-around-swinging-their-dicks-around TSA goons and replace them all with dogs. Dogs will find trouble faster, and more accurately than the aforementioned band-aids we've been using since 9-11.
How awesome, really? You're killing two birds with one stone: reducing cost of operating the TSA, and getting valuable dogs out of the pound and working for a living. It's win-win, baby!
Dogs love jobs! Hire them!